As Free as a Bird

Spreading my voice on the injustices of rape culture, misogyny, and human trafficking in an effort to educate others and empower like-minded women.

Archive for the tag “feminist”

Domestic Violence Defined

Domestic Violence Defined

It is much more broad and far-reaching than many people realize.

Death is Fashionable?

Trigger warning: Violent and disturbing images

Sometimes I just want to throw my hands up in the air.

I have seen an article before about violence against women in fashion magazines and advertisements, but I looked at it as something that we are moving away from at this point. Obviously I was wrong. Here is a new Marc Jacobs ad featuring a girl who appears to be dead:

Image

I fail to understand why violence against women is viewed as art. I’m not sure what message they are even trying to send here. They are normalizing and glorifying violence against women, and they are using a young woman who has admitted that she is unstable to carry out that message.

I could argue that these images are actually symbolic of society and the fashion industry, and the real damage that they can cause towards women and young girls. Women are often placed on a figurative scale. As a woman, you cannot be too skinny, because then you don’t have “enough curves”, and you cannot be overweight because that makes you “disgusting”. Why do we care so much about what other people look like or what they choose to do with their bodies? It would be different if comments revolving around weight were actually born out of true concern for the person’s health, but they rarely, if ever, are. I think many people mask their ignorant comments with “concern”.

These photos are why I am honestly feeling deterred from having children. Why would I want them to grow up in world like this? Violence against women is seen as art.

Again, these are really disturbing.

Image

ImageImageImageImage

I don’t see anything artistic about this. This has very little to do with fashion, and a lot to do with violent/gore media. They look like still shots from a horror film. I guess I will never understand the fashion industry, especially when they try to make strangulation look sexy.

Image

I realize that there are fetishes out there, but I honestly do not think it is healthy to put on display for young girls to see. I do think we should be more open about sexual education, but I doubt Rihanna songs or fashion ads are created for education. It honestly just looks like another image of a man dominating a woman- “putting her in the place”. People seem to think all these images and jokes are harmless, but I don’t see the humor or beauty in violence. The hyper-sexualization and glorification of violence against women is a problem displayed in advertisements and the media on a constant basis. Sometimes it feels as if there is no escape from their onslaught of images. Images like these images contribute to rape culture in America. We are so desensitized to violence against women; it is almost seen as normal, and sometimes goes as far as claiming to be sexy or artistic when women are abused.

That is a serious problem. Yet, how can we change it? It is so engrained in our culture. Are we too far gone?

 

Note:

If you would like to see more images or read more on the topic, here are some sources that I used:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/copyranter/violence-against-women-in-fashion-continues-unabated

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/womens-blog/2014/jan/09/female-corpses-fashion-trend-marc-jacobs-miley-cyrus

Real Women

Real Women

This is a great reminder, even for me. We are all “real women”. Not one body type, ethnicity, sexual orientation, sexual identity, or religion defines that.

Beauty Redefined

How To Look Beautiful

Be yourself.

A Note to Parents

A Note to Parents

The Sexy Lie

What do you think about the way that the media portrays women in advertisements?

Hope for the Homeless?

Image

This is a subject that has been on my mind quite a bit lately. I live in a fairly sizable city in Texas, so we have quite a few homeless people and panhandlers. My parents have always been drawn to those less fortunate (which is probably where I learned my passions for others). Lately my parents have been traveling out to various groups of panhandlers asking what they need. Naturally these people were surprised when someone spoke to them, as very few people engage with them other than slipping them some cash on occasion (if they’re lucky). Out of their surprised state came an outpouring of stories. I remember almost all of their stories, but one stood out in particular.

One of the women in the group under the tree that my parents spoke with confided in my mom. During their conversation my mom asked the woman where she was staying and if she had anywhere constant that she could go. The woman pulled my mom off to the side and whispered to her in a cryptic tone, “I don’t want anyone to hear me, but I live under (a tree by ____ Road). I don’t want them to hear me because sometimes when my husband leaves men will try to come around and I don’t want them to.” I instantly began to weep and asked my mom if she thought the woman had been raped or sexually assaulted before. None of us really know for sure, but it is certainly a high possibility. Even though it probably happens all the time in the homeless setting, it is something I have never really thought about- until now. Here are people that the world views as annoying, gross, or pretty much shit. Yet, they are PEOPLE; they have real problems (obviously, but people don’t seem to care or recognize that fact), real feelings, and multiple dangers. Who knows how many of these women have been raped, and I am sure that they feel like there is nothing they can do about it. Hell, I am some white bread girl, and I felt I couldn’t do anything about what happened to me. I want to research this more, because there needs to be a program for homeless women who have been sexually assaulted/exploited, or who fear sexual assault/exploitation. There may already be one, but this is just the beginning of my research. I want to talk to this woman, and other women like her. There has got to be something I can do for them. It’s terrible enough that most women in general don’t feel they can report or get help, but it is even worse when you’re living on the streets without any real resources (phone, internet, etc). There has to be a way to give them hope/help. Something to think about.

Note: Feel free to add any thoughts or ideas. I’m thinking a special rape crisis center for the homeless, or even something like free self-defense classes. I want to give the homeless some sort of hope that isn’t found in a bottle.

 

Power to the People

The Venus Project logo

The Venus Project logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“If you make people uniform, you can control them. If you teach people to read, and think, and question things, you lose control. So, the best idea is to separate people if you wish to maintain a monetary system. It’s called divide and conquer. By dividing people, they’re not a threat, you can control them.” – Jacque Fresco

Society doesn’t accept the beauty in individuality, and that is partially because society wants to control women. The more uniform we are, the easier we are to predict and control. They want to silence us because they know we have the potential to be a powerful, unstoppable force. People fear strong women – women with power and intellect make them uncomfortable. Society doesn’t know what to do with a woman who stands up for herself, or stands up for others. We need to remember to lift each other up and remain a cohesive group, working together with using our own personal strengths and abilities. If we work together and do not let them divide us, we can bring change. Change is inevitable when we work together.

Gender Roles in the Media

What if the roles were reversed?

One word: Powerful

An Inspiring Video on Speaking out Against Sexual Harassment

Sexual harassment is bullying. If a person is causing someone else to feel negatively about themselves and helpless, it is bullying.

To the victims: speak out, and do not be silenced.

Body Positivity

Body Positivity

Many women, and people in general, put their self-worth and their identity in their bodies. They oftentimes let societal norms and stereotypes define them, when there is much more to a person than their bodies. It is important to love your body, but just as important, if not more, to realize that your body is not the only thing that makes a person who they are. There is more to you than just your body, and it is vital to accept that fact and embrace it.

Schools and Shaming

Image

You can read more about slut shaming by clicking on the image.

The question today is, are schools promoting weight shaming and slut shaming?

A few weeks ago I asked my boyfriend’s cousin to stay with me over night so that we could spend some bonding time together. She is a junior in high school and has pretty low self-esteem from what I understand. Since I was bullied and mistreated in high school I have kind of made it my goal to help her and mentor her whenever I can. When she was staying with me she was talking to me at breakfast about school. With teary eyes she began to divulge an all too familiar story about her school administration. She is constantly targeted for her clothing, and I suspect it is because she is Hispanic and does not fit the Barbie mold. She has been told on several occasions that her pants are too tight or that she can’t wear shorts because her legs are too big. A school official has also said to her that certain clothing does not work with certain body types. To me that sounds like they are insinuating to her that she is too fat to wear shorts.  Frankly, that is her decision and own opinion to make, it isn’t the schools’ business to play fashion police. This is a terrible message to be sending a young girl in high school, or any girl for that matter. High school is a time when most girls are insecure, vulnerable, and have low self-esteem. The school is telling young girls that aren’t obese that they are fat, and even if they were actually obese it is still none of their business outside serving healthier foods for everyone at school. Rather than schools standing by their students and encouraging them, they are shaming them for being different. She is constantly targeted for her clothing while the administration looks the other way when it comes to a certain group of girls who wear shorts that are even shorter than what she wears.

Also, wearing leggings without shorts over them is banned from her school, as are yoga pants, I believe. While in some regard I understand why, I don’t think that limiting students’ clothing betters their academic career or causes them to “make better life choices” (and I hardly doubt that is the true reasoning for clothing restrictions). Frankly, it is slut shaming.

When did teaching kids appropriateness cross the line into shaming? This is a tough subject, because in a way I don’t think young girls should be baring themselves inappropriately at school.. but mainly because I know there are creeps out there that have to turn the way you dress into something sexual and run with it. Yes, you should dress respectfully in certain situations, but many of these recent cases of schools and dress codes have truly crossed the line and flew into another atmosphere.

Here are some great examples from an awesome article that you should also read:

1. A middle school in California banned tight pants. At the beginning of last month, a middle school in Northern California began telling girls to avoid wearing pants that are “too tight” because it “distracts the boys.” At a mandatory assembly for just the female students, the middle school girls were told that they’re no longer allowed to wear leggings or yoga pants. “We didn’t think it was fair how we have all these restrictions on our clothing while boys didn’t have to sit through [the assembly] at all,” one student told local press. Some parents also complained, leading the school’s assistant principal to record a voicemailexplaining the new policy. “The guiding principle in all dress codes is that the manner in which students dress does not become a distraction in the learning environment,” the message said.

2. A high school principal in Minnesota emailed parents to ask them to cover up their daughters. A principal in Minnetonka, MN recently wrote an email telling parents to stop letting their daughters wear leggings or yoga pants to school. He says the tight-fitting pants are fine with longer shirts but, when worn with a shorter top, a girl’s “backside” can be “too closely defined.” The big risk of having a defined backside, he thinks, is that it can “be highly distracting for other students.”

3. Two girls in Ohio were turned away from their prom for being “improperly dressed.” Laneisha Williams and Nyasia Mitchell were barred from prom this spring for wearing dresses that administrators considered “too revealing.” The girls say that they didn’t believe they were violating a dress code that said dresses couldn’t be too short or show too much cleavage. But one administrator told local news that the high school girls were only allowed to wear dresses that had “no curvature of their breasts showing.”

4. A kindergarten student in Georgia was forced to change her “short” skirt because it was a “distraction to other students.” It’s hard to imagine that a kindergartener’s outfit could be “a distraction to other students,” but a mother in Georgia told locals news there that her daughter had been outfitted in someone else’s pants — without parental permission — after the principal deemed the skirt the young girl was wearing too short.” The girl had apparently wore the skirt, and accompanying leggings, just one week before without incident.

5. Forty high school girls were sent home from a winter dance in California after “degrading” clothing inspections “bordering on sexual harassment.” A school board member’s daughter was among the 40 girls turned away from Capistrano Valley High’s February dance for wearing dresses that either exposed their midriffs or were cut too low. Before the dance, girls were apparently required to flap their arms up and down and turn around for male administrators’ inspection. The school issues image guidelines for appropriate dress on its website — though the images were nearly all of women, and the only male image depicted proper attire. One girl alleges that the principal told her, “Not all dresses look good on certain body shapes.” A grandmother of one of the girls who was turned away from the dance also said that a teacher remarked about her granddaughter, “What mother would allow her daughter to wear a dress like that?” Apparently the school did receive some praise, though, from the parents of two male students.

So, does slut shaming breed rape culture? Hell yes it does. Slut shaming tells girls that they are the cause of rape, they are seducing the men into action because of the way that they dress or act. FALSE. Rapists rape because they are rapists. Why should we condone shaming girls and placing blame where it doesn’t belong. Our society hides behind this guise of being politically correct, proper, and “appropriate”. Well, if accepting rape is proper and appropriate, I say f*^% propriety. Schools need to be in the business of education, not discrimination.

 

No Slut Shaming

My policy, and it should be yours, too.

My policy, and it should be yours, too

Just because someone is sexually promiscuous, even if they truly are by society’s standards or not, does not mean they are deserving of rape or open property for someone to rape. This also does not automatically make them your open target for harassment and torment. Stop the hate.

Class is in Session: Barbie and Ken 101

If you hate society and their opinions about beauty as much as I do, you will love this video.

Defining Ourselves

Don’t let the media and society tell you who you are- YOU show them who you are.

Killing Us Softly

I watched this series a few times throughout college. Kilbourne has 4 videos from throughout the years that discuss women, self-image, self-esteem, and violence against women in relation to how women are portrayed in the media. This is her most recent video. I believe spreading videos like this is vital to women’s physical and mental health. As she states in the video, degradation and dehumanization of women is just the beginning of violence against women.

 

Skinny Shaming

ImageMany people usually do not consider skinny shaming when they think about or discuss weight discrimination and weight shaming, but it is very much real. I may have never personally experienced it, but I have seen people endure it. Last night I was looking through Instagram and I noticed that a young girl posted a picture of herself in the mirror, a full-body photo and a pretty typical teen pose. I looked at the comments of what people were saying to her, and the comments weren’t really what I was expecting. Some men and boys were commenting on her body, saying that she was “cute, but flat”. While I realize when you put pictures on the internet you are opening yourself up for scrutiny, that doesn’t make what those people were saying to her okay in any way. This type of behavior is sending young girls the wrong ideas, that you are only worth what your body is, and most of the time it isn’t considered to be worth much at all. They were basically saying to her that the size of her breasts are what matter, even though she was clearly no older than 13 or 14. One, this is probably very hurtful to her and may cause her to do alterations on her body later in life. Two, I find this to be sexual harassment, and of a minor no less. Men should not be commenting on a minor’s pictures, let alone the size of her breasts. 

I know that a lot of women who are overweight do not think that the skinny girl plight is legitimate, but it is. In fact, some of the perpetrators of skinny shaming are overweight people. We have to tell ourselves that shaming anyone is just as bad as someone shaming us. It is hypocritical to go after someone and cause the same damage. I have heard the term “skinny bitches” a lot, and making fun of skinny girls saying they are “anorexic”. Hell, I am no saint here, I have judged out of anger, but it isn’t right. Anorexia is a serious disorder, and it isn’t something to accuse or make fun of. Bullying someone for their body type is hurtful, no matter what that body type is. Telling a girl she is too skinny, or “ew, gross you are so skinny”, is just as hurtful to them as it is for bigger women to hear that they are fat. The fact is we all have different shapes-unless you are somebody’s loved one and they truly need help, you shouldn’t be commenting at all, and even then..tread lightly. Anyone can be body conscious for any reason, so what’s the point in judging and abusing someone. No one wins in that game, and it may feel good at the time, but it will cause you to feel guilty later on. Be ware of what you say, and even of what you are thinking. Everyone deserves respect, not just you.

 

Post Navigation