Here is a postcard that was on PostSecret this Sunday. I know it is hard for many people to understand how/why someone would blame themselves for their own rape. The best way to understand is to ask. They may feel ashamed or as if they did something to cause the person to think that it was okay to take advantage. They may also feel as if they made poor decisions or that they could have prevented the rape. I am still struggling with this, and I know it can be a comfort to know that people understand you, that they hear you, rather than trying to give you advice from a perspective that does not understand. We are never at fault – THEY should have known better, should have made better decisions, should have prevented themselves from taking advantage, should have been respectful, should have been better.